these things just happen
by bowddots
Summary: It was almost 1:00 AM when Wally rolled over in bed and realized that his wife wasn't next to him. / "Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained." / xposted on ao3


xposted on ao3;

description quote by Jonathan Harnisch

...

It was late. Or early, depending on how you actually looked at it.

It was almost 1:00 AM when Wally rolled over in bed and realized that his wife wasn't next to him.

"Arty?" He called skeptically, rising from under the warm covers and making his way hastily through their small Palo Alto abode. It wasn't until he passed the, until recently, unused room and saw her sitting in one of the chairs that he took a breath.

He walked into the lavender room- it still smelled of paint fumes, due to the fact it had only been painted last weekend by himself and Dick. The small room was colored the light purple shade with pale yellow lightning bolts and mint green arrows around the center. It was his idea, of course, but Artemis was gleefully surprised at the outcome.

She was sitting in the rocking chair next to the window, fast asleep. Wally smiled to himself, amused at the sight. He walked to her, shaking her slightly to wake her up.

"Hmm," she moaned under her breath as her eyes opened, looking at his smiling face.  
"What're you doing in here?" He wondered, grabbing her hand.  
"I couldn't sleep," she mused, sighing, "you were snoring too loud."

He stared at her for a moment, "Arty, I told you that if I'm keeping you up then to wake me, not leave."  
"But my back also hurt, and I was hungry and nauseous, and couldn't get comfortable," she added with a smile, "So I just came in here and started rocking."  
"Feel any better?"  
"Much."

"C'mon," he prodded, ready to lift her from the chair.

"Wally don't," she whined playfully, "I'm a fat cow."

"Arty, you're not even twenty weeks. You're far from being classified as a _fat cow,_" Wally replied, proceeding to lift her with ease.

"Give her two weeks, lifting me up won't be so easy, Babe."

He carried her back to the bedroom and tucked her back under the covers, then did the same himself, scooting as close as humanly possible to his wife.

"I love you, Arty," he let his hands trace her form until they ended up around her full belly, "and I love her, too."

"She has a name, y'know," the blonde mumbled, "Iris Isabella." She giggled under her breath as Wally continue to rub his fingers around her belly.

"Rolls right off the tongue, Babe," he kissed the nape of her neck.

"You suggested we name her after your aunt," Artemis reminded.

"And it's perfect."  
There was a pleasant pause between the two of them, until Artemis spoke again.

"She'll have your red hair," she mused quietly.

"No, she'll be blonde. Red hair is recessive."  
"So is blonde hair, genius."

"She'll have your smile," Wally replied.

"And your green eyes. And your dimples."

"She'll be beautiful, Arty."

Artemis smiled as she sighed calmly. As she closed her eyes again, she felt Iris wiggle within her belly. "She's kicking. Again. I guess we woke her up."

Wally reached over her torso and felt for the fluttery sensation he'd only felt a few times before. Artemis guided his palm to where the tiny feet were currently kicking.

"There ya go," she whispered, a large smile on her face.

"She's wide awake now," he mused, kissing her neck again.

"I'll never get back to sleep."

– – - – -

It was an uneventful next day. A typical Monday for the couple, consisting of walking their dog, eating their meals, and paying their bills.

Artemis went to bed first, as she had been doing for the past few weeks.

"I'll be in when I finish the dishes, A," Wally told her, wrist deep in soapy water.

"'Kay. Love you," Artemis called back. She ended up in their bedroom and she slipped off her outfit and into her pajamas- a tank top and sweatpants- and crawled under the covers.

She was exhausted, and she hadn't really done anything that would exhaust a human without child. Apparently, creating and carrying life really takes it out of a person.

When Wally walked into the room ten minutes later, she was out like a light. He tossed his jeans and tee shirt off and slipped on his own pajama pants, then slid into his side of the bed, ready for his own sleep to start.

Also, apparently taking care of said human with child can also take quite a bit out of a person. Not that he was complaining, Artemis was doing all the work, he just got a front row seat.  
He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "I love you, Babe," and wrapped his arm lightly around her torso, as he'd done the night before, and fell asleep.

– - – - – -

It was barely 2:30 AM when Artemis woke up with a sharp cramp in her side. She hissed quietly, sitting up and holding her engorged midsection.

After a moment, the cramp subsided, and she laid back down, closing her eyes again. _Great, I have to pee, _she thought, and she stood and began making her way down the hall. When she was almost to the bathroom, another sharp pang seethed her side, and it took all her willpower not to shriek as she grabbed her belly again, groaning in pain.

She waded to the toilet and as she was going, something felt wrong. Shrugging it off, she went to pull up her pants and noticed the slightest bit of blood in her underwear.

_Shit._

She checked and, yes, she was bleeding. Big time.

"Wally!" She cried out hoarsely, her voice breaking as tears welled in her gray eyes, "Wally! Get in here!"

He'd barely heard her. At first, he thought he was dreaming, so he rolled over and stretched out his arm, only to be met with the mattress. His eyes shot open as he heard her scream for the second time, and he raced to where she was- wherever she was.  
That's when he saw her. She was sitting on the edge on the toilet seat, applying a maxi pad- it'd been awhile since he'd seen one of those- to the crotch of her underwear, with blood on her shaking hands.

"Artemis, what the-"  
"I'm bleeding, Wally," she cut him off. Her voice singed in her throat, and frankly, he'd never seen her more scared. "I'm bleeding, and I don't know what to do."

"We have to get you to the hospital," he concluded, grabbing her arm and helping her up, "c'mon."  
Within minutes, the two were in their car. Before leaving, Wally had slipped on the first tee shirt he could find and grabbed a change of clothes- another tank top, sweats, and underwear- for Artemis and tossed them into a bag, and gave Brucely a bone, instructing the dog to 'be good.'

Minutes later, they were at the hospital, bypassing the emergency room in favor for the maternity ward, and the few nurses on call were rushing Artemis to the nearest room.

The doctor on call- Dr. Hamilton according to his introduction- was not their regular doctor. In fact, the couple had never met the balding man before in their lives. He ran a quick ultrasound, confirming his own worry after asking Artemis a few questions and concluded the worst possible scenario.

"Mrs. West, I'm afraid your water has broken, and you're in labor."  
"She's not even twenty weeks," Wally rebutted to the seemingly impossible statement.  
"True, yes, but there was a break in the amniotic sac. Sometimes, these things happen," the doctor explained. "She probably had a weak membrane structure; but I digress, we don't have time to discuss how this happened. Right now, the baby needs to be delivered."

"But she's not-" Artemis began to argue, only to stop when another sharp pain stabbed her side.  
"The baby isn't developed," Wally finished.  
"The chances of infant survival are less than ten percent. I'm deeply sorry, but as I said, sometimes, these things just happen."

Wally took an angry breath and looked to Artemis. Her flushed face was covered in tears, blonde strands of hair sticking to her forehead.

"Artemis, I love you," he told her, his voice breaking.

"I'll prepare the delivery room."

\- - – -

Iris Isabella West was born that morning.

She fit in Wally's hands.

The nurse handed the miniscule infant to its crying mother, and Artemis tried her best not to bawl.  
"I can feel her heart beating, Wally," the blonde whispered to her husband, who was lying next to her in the large hospital bed.

"I can see it," he relayed, slipping a finger to the baby.

Artemis took a broken breath, afraid to speak the next words, "she's not going to make it."  
Wally swallowed, "I know," then kissed a tear on Artemis' cheek.

\- – -

Iris Isabella West passed away twelve minutes after she was born.

The second the nurse called the time, Artemis broke down into relentless sobs, still holding her lifeless infant.

Moments later, another nurse- an older one, who seemed to have done this one too many times- entered the room, prepared to take the baby from Artemis.  
"I'm going to take her to the morgue now," the older woman said slowly.

Artemis held Iris closer to her, shaking as more tears fell. Wally wrapped his own arms around his wife, allowing the aged nurse to remove the infant from her grip.

"No, give her back. _Please,_" Artemis sobbed to the lone nurse who was still in the room. "I'll take care of her, I promise."  
"Artemis," Wally choked out, his own tears falling onto her shoulder.

"They're taking her away, Wally, they're taking our daughter," her hoarse voice rang through the room as she thrashed in Wally's grip.  
"Arty, please."  
"I promise I'll take care of her," her voice cracked, "I'll be good mom. _Just please give her back!_"

A third nurse- tall, middle-aged- entered the room and inserted a liquid medicine into Artemis' IV.

"It's a sedative. She'll fall asleep soon," the woman explained, leaving before Wally could even comprehend that she was even there to begin with.

Artemis, as the nurse said she would, calmed down, though still whispering neurotically about her child. Wally continued to keep his arm around her; not only was it helping her calm down, it was helping him in some weird way he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Before he even realized it, Artemis fell asleep.

– - – - – -

Hours later, she woke up, dazed and slightly confused, her entire body sore.

"Hey, Arty, how're you feeling?" Wally asked the moment he saw her eyes flutter. She turned to where his voice had come from, and saw he was sitting in an armchair next to her bed.

She shrugged.

"You hungry?" He asked, only to receive a shake of her head. He tried again, "thirsty?" She hesitated, then nodded slightly, sitting up a little in the bed.

He grabbed a bottle of water and cracked it, removing the lid then handing it to his tired wife. "Here, Babe."  
"Thanks," she croaked, her voice hoarse. She took many small sips from the bottle before closing it and setting it beside her.

"I haven't told anyone, not yet."

She nodded again.

He continued, "I mean, it's not really something to say over the phone, and I didn't really know if you wanted to say it, or wanted to be together when we said it, or even who to tell first-"  
"Dick," she interrupted him. He stared at her for a moment, surprised she'd said anything, and relieved she'd stopped him from rambling. "We're telling Dick first."

Wally nodded slowly at her statement, then began "okay, we can tell Dick. Any particular reason why him first?"

Sure, Dick was the Godfather, and knew it, and had also helped pay for a _lot_ of Iris' room. He'd also been to almost every one of the couple's appointments, even though they'd said he didn't have to be (and probably would've preferred him to _not_ be there), on top of getting Iris and/or Artemis little gifts every week. Plus, he knew she was pregnant a week before Wally did. Dick was present at the time of the test-taking (he'd stopped by the apartment looking for Wally to find a sickly Artemis and convinced her she was with child, to be proven right) while Wally was visiting his mother in Central for the week.

"Because," Artemis started, her voice breaking, "he loved her just as much as we did." Tears rolled down her face as Wally ducked in to hug her again.

"It's okay, Babe," he attempted to console her.  
"No, it's not, Wally," she choked out, before letting out another sob, "she's gone."

Wally paused, still rubbing her arm through the tight hug. "It'll _be_ okay. Eventually."

– - – - –

Friday morning Artemis was released from the hospital. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep, and Wally really couldn't convince her to do otherwise.

Upon walking through the front door, Brucely was _so_ happy to see his family again he seemed oblivious to the fact something was wrong with his two people. The mutt immediately jumped on Artemis, begging for attention, only to be scolded instantly.

"_Get off, Brucely!"_ Her voice was rash and hostile as she pushed her dog away from her; the canine ran off into the kitchen.

"Don't yell at _him_!" Wally relayed, almost as loud. Artemis sent her husband a hurt look as he shut the door behind him. "He was just happy to see you," he continued, softer.

She heard none of it as she stomped down the hallway, slamming a door.

_Fuck_, was the only thought in Wally's mind as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Brucely, having slightly recovered from his woman's scold, waded to Wally and proceeded to scratch at his man's pant leg. Wally, already mad, had none of it, _"go lay down!_" He yelled, ignoring his previous advice. The mutt once again ran into the kitchen, whining.

Wally attempted to then be a good husband and made his way down the hall, towards his room, only to find the door wide open and the room the way they'd left it a few nights ago. He turned and looked towards the bathroom door, also wide open, when it dawned on him.

He took a few steps more to the lavender room with the mint arrows and pale-yellow lightning bolts and saw the door shut, and from it heard her soft sobs. He cracked the door slowly and entered; she was in the rocking chair, curled up in a ball.

"Babe, I'm sorry I yelled at you," he walked to her, kneeling on the plush carpeting. He rested a hand on her arm. "I'm a dick."

She shook her head slightly, wiping some tears on her shoulders, "I'm sorry," she whispered towards him, her gray eyes now puffy.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Wally argued, "I yelled at Brucely seconds after you came back here."  
"I'm sorry I can't give you a baby."

He was taken aback by her statement. _That_ was one of the last things he'd expect her to say. "What?" He stood up, then lifted her bridal style- ignoring her request to _not_ lift her- and sat down in the chair with her. "Artemis, the doctor said it was nothing you did that caused this."

"He said that I had a _weak membrane structure_."

Wally paused, "It happens, for all we know that could've been on me."

"It was me, Wally."  
He paused again. "But the doctor said in a few months we can try again-"  
"No, Wally. If this happened this time, who's to say it won't happen again. What if this membrane thing isn't just a 'one and done' thing? What if it's a package deal? For all my 'maybe babies?' I don't wanna go through that again. All this again," she paused, "I can't."

"First of all, did I just hear the same girl that took out her own assassin father single handedly say she couldn't do something?"

"Wally, this is different."

He nodded. "I'll tell you what. In a few months, or whenever, we can go get you checked out and find out if this membrane thing was just with Iris," he paused, "or if it's something we should be more cautious about in the future. Maybe it's something that could've been prevented."  
"Why, Wally?"  
"Because I know how much you want a family, Artemis."  
She cracked a slight smile, then placed a kiss on Wally's lips.

After pulling away, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I texted Dick," Wally started. "I told him we had big news, and might have to postpone our Friday lunch."

Artemis shook her head. "No, he needs to know. We can meet him at the cave," she paused. "I just want a nap first."  
"Anything."

\- – - – -

At 1:00 PM, as they did every Friday, Wally and Artemis met up with Dick. More often than not, the former Boy Wonder would zeta to Palo Alto, but the couple agreed to meet him at the cave today, as long as he was alone.

The two walked in right on time, and saw their friend, in his civvies, making some sort of food in the kitchen.

"Hey you guys! I'm glad you could make it!"

"Hi, Dick," Wally greeted for both him and Artemis. She'd changed from what she'd come home in, and was now wearing leggings and one of Wally's hoodies.

She smiled slightly towards her friend as the two sat down.

"Okay, so I know you said you had big news, and I'll let you get to it, but I _have_ to give you your present," Dick scurried to grab a shopping bag that was sitting on the island behind him. "I had to take Stephanie to the store to get something and when she was checking out, I saw this and couldn't resist," he pulled a small plush bird, made to resemble a robin, out of the bag and held it out on display. "I figured it kind of payed homage to my Boy Wonder days. For Iris to remember where her ol' Godfather got his superhero start," he set the bird on the counter and leaned over it, smiling brightly.

Artemis swallowed at the name of her daughter, though she'd have to get used to it seeing as they had a relative with the same name. "Thanks, Dick, it's very sweet," she managed. She felt Wally wrap his arm around her waist.  
"So, enough about me," Dick began again. "What's the big news?"

"Um," the archer began, her voice cracking, but when she looked at Dick- his bright, smiling blue eyes and matching smile- she wavered and turned to her husband. "I can't Wally. I can't tell him. I thought I could but I can't."

Wally nodded, telling her that he would bare the news, as Dick's smile fell suddenly.

"What's going on?"  
"On Monday night, late Monday night I took Arty to the hospital. She was bleeding pretty bad and cramping. After a few quick tests the doctor told us she was in labor," Wally began to recount memories from a few nights ago.  
Dick interrupted, "but she's barely twenty weeks."  
"We know. But apparently, she had a weak membrane structure. And lo and behold she had to deliver the baby. And because she was so little, she didn't make it," the story sounded foreign to Wally's ears, and perhaps he should've thought about what exactly he was going to say.

"I lost her, Dick." Artemis tried to clarify to their awestruck friend with tears in her eyes.

"Oh my- Artemis," Dick walked around the counter and practically tackled the blonde in a hug, feeling immediate nostalgia for the small bump he'd felt just one week ago. He pulled away, allowing her to breathe. "I'm so sorry," his own voice hitched slightly in his throat as tears burned the back of his eyes. "If there's anything I can do-"  
"We know," Wally cut him off. "But Dick, for now we all just need to mourn."  
Dick nodded, wiping at his eyes.

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked after a few moments.

"I, didn't want anyone to see me at the hospital," Artemis answered slowly.

Another pause.

"Did you get to see her?"

Artemis nodded, tears returning to her face.  
"She was beautiful, Dick," Wally spoke, his voice cracking.

"And so small," Artemis added in a whisper.

Wally slipped his phone out of his pocket and pulled up a picture he'd taken of himself, Artemis, and Iris just a few minutes after she was born and held it up for Dick to see.

He grabbed the phone from the speedster and looked at the photo. "She's gorgeous."

\- – - – -

Later that evening, Wally and Artemis decided to tell his parents the news. They were sitting at the West's kitchen table as Mary prepared grilled chicken for supper. The couple made it clear to Dick not to tell anyone on the league or team what had happened, either; they wouldn't have to worry about receiving random pity calls from friends.

Mary began to plate the food, setting a place for each member, and called her husband down for supper.

"How's dad doing?" Wally asked, nervous for the answer.

Mary hesitated, "he's well. It'll be one month soon."

"Wait, he was almost at six the last time we talked. What happened?"

His mother paused again, "a coworker of his, I suppose, and him got into an argument and he ended up at the bar and had a couple," she shrugged.  
"Mom, you're supposed to be watching him!"

"Wally," Artemis grabbed her husband's arm. He nodded in understanding, taking a deep breath.

"Did he touch you?" He asked.  
"No, he was just a little out of it. Just don't bring it up."

A few moments later Rudy entered the room, taking a seat at the table.

"Wally, Artemis, welcome," he nodded from across the table at the couple and took a sip of water.

The dinner was delicious, filled with idle conversation of what Mary has been doing around the house and plans for a possible wedding anniversary getaway for the older couple. Every time Mary tried to steer the conversation towards her son and daughter-in-law, Wally would turn it back on his mother with quick wit and a smile.

Once every plate was empty and awaiting to be washed by the sink, the four sat waiting for the 'big news' that was promised from the younger couple.

Wally turned to Artemis, "you're going to have to say it this time. I can't."

She nodded, taking a deep breath, "so, Wally took me to the hospital on Monday night. I was bleeding. And when we got there the doctor told me I had gone into labor. And I had to deliver the baby," she paused, taking a broken breath. "And she didn't make it."

She couldn't look at either of her in-laws at this point, choosing to lock her eyes on the oak table at her lap.

"Artemis, Wally, I can't imagine-" Mary's soft voice was promptly cut off by her husband's.

"Well, son, it seems you can't do anything right."  
Wally's eyes shot up from the table to his father's, "what? Dad, the doctor said this wasn't anyone's fault-"  
Rudy stood, "son, you're a man of science. I'm sure you know babies don't just die."  
Wally stood, countering his father, but before he could speak, Artemis' voice rang out, "it was me. My fault. I had weak membrane structure. Blame me for the loss of your granddaughter." Her voice was shaking by the end, barely getting out of her throat.  
Rudy's eyes darted between his son's and the blonde for a second before adding "you sure got the pick of the litter, didn't you? She can't even carry your baby."  
_"Rudy,"_ Mary hissed at her husband, then looked towards the distraught Artemis, taken aback the man's blunt statement. The blonde looked down at her lap again, holding her head in her hands.

Wally quickly stomped around the table towards his father, "don't you _ever_ speak about her like that!"

"Don't _you ever_ speak to me like that," Rudy prodded back, promptly backhanding his son across the face.

Wally recoiled by shoving the man's shoulders, causing him to stumble back a few feet. "You have no right to talk about either one of us, when all you are is a pathetic drunk!"

"Wallace! Rudolph! Enough!" Mary stood and pulled her son away from her husband before either one of them could do anything else. "No one's going to win this fight. Rudy, they lost their child, and if you think either one of them is at fault then leave."

There was a silence and the older man left the kitchen, retreating to the bedroom.

"Wally, Artemis, I am so sorry for everything. Iris, and _that._" Mary guided Wally back to his wife and he wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "Artemis, sweetie, what happened is absolutely not your fault."  
"Please, don't ever think that," Wally tilted her chin up and placed a kiss on her lips.  
"I love you," she whispered.

\- – - – -

That night, when the couple found themselves back in their own apartment, in their own bed, Wally draped his arms around Artemis.

"I'm sorry about tonight, Babe."

"It's okay."  
"It really isn't. He should've never said that. I wish he wasn't even there."

"Wally, you don't mean that."  
"I do. That man means nothing to me. All he did my entire childhood was-"  
"Wally, I know. I'm sorry he said those things, too."

He kissed the back of her neck and smiled. "I love you Artemis."  
"I love you Wally."

"We'll get through this. Like we get through everything."

**. . .**

_**~review~**_


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